Real outcomes of children’s misbehavior
Shaping your child’s behaviour is a difficult task, as you must distinguish between allowing your child to learn by himself and ensuring his safety. Leaving real consequences to happen when your child acts badly shows him how the world works and lets him know that he can’t get away with certain behaviours. Although you want to protect your child, predicting consequences can help prevent bad behaviour in the future, according to the Ask Dr. Sears website.
Allow natural consequences to manifest themselves
Letting nature take its course can become an excellent learning tool for your child. In this situation, the parent does not provide first-hand consequences for poor behaviour, but allows negative consequences to occur. People make mistakes, but these mistakes can serve as a learning experience when they are allowed to happen. While you may want to protect your child from anything that may happen to him or her, growing up safe can prevent him or her from suffering the consequences of bad behaviour. If he doesn’t study for a test, let him fail. When he doesn’t want to eat his dinner, allow him to go to bed on an empty stomach. By allowing these mistakes, you can give them consequences that will change their decision-making process in the future,” says Ask Dr. Sears.
Implement the logical consequences
A logical consequence provides firm and immediate punishment for a particular action. In this scenario, the parent applies consequences that logically correspond to the action. It’s similar to the way things work in the real world, much like a police officer will issue an immediate ticket if you’re caught speeding. When your child refuses to take his or her toys, take them with you for the rest of the day, suggests the American Academy of Pediatrics’ HealthyChildren.org website. This shows him that his actions have negative consequences and that they work much better than yelling at him.
The withdrawal of a child’s privileges acts in the same way as the legal code. If you break the law, you could spend time in prison without the privilege of freedom. Therefore, you can make a series of family laws and withdraw privileges if these laws are violated. If the child comes home late, you can punish him. For a younger child, you can take away privileges such as watching television or using the computer when a rule is not respected, suggests Dr. Sears.
Avoid using physical force
Avoid spanking your children because it sends the wrong message about the consequences. When you spank your child, he or she learns that the use of physical force is an acceptable consequence of poor behaviour. As a result, she could become violent if she does not agree with another person’s behaviour. The use of physical force can also make children fear being afraid of their parents. As a result, spanking often does not work because the child is not informed of the real consequences of his or her actions, notes the KidsHealth website. When a child is afraid of being spanked, it may not change their behaviour, but it may make them work harder so they don’t get caught.